this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
