Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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