Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
