so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
