ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize