The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
