Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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