Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
