I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
