shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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