So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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