No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize