this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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