everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way