Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.