lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I accidentally invented a religion.