so that wasnt chicken after all
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
