Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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