Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.