Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.