so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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