And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just google imaged poop.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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