end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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