Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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