I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
