AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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