You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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