i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
