so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
