Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize