Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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