so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my shit smells like andre
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
