i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize