Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
