my room smells like sperm. sweet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.