The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.