i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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