I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
