Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
