Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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