You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
