She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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