I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
