you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
