she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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