do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.