"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie