I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?