I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize