i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fuck appropriateness.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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