we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
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The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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