i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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