I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize