omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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