oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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