well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her