Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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