Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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